Debby Says

Teenage Moms

I am positive about this: No matter how controversial is abortion, morning after pill, adoption or even suicide…no institution, religion or society can tell a girl what to with the sudden baby inside of her… No matter how bad they think it is to commit any of those, they will never be right because it had never happened to themselves and probably it won’t.

Yeah, I study at college with some moms of my age… and honestly, I admire them. Some of them are already married, some were left after the father of their baby got known she was pregnant, some of them moved to the city to study… but all have this in common, they make the huge effort to raise their babies and study at the same time (that’s even harder than to study and work, being a mother has none limit of time).

They are brave. They didn’t choose to kill their babies. They don’t just give up, they want to become a professional. When it’s end of semester, we all gather together to get drunk and go crazy. They, instead, hurry back home to change nappies.

I also met girls at school who take morning after pills, who have had an abortion or that just keep on telling that if they get pregnant, they would abort it just because it’s just a bunch of cells that could spoil the rest of their lives.

BOTH are right! the point here is: those girls who say they wouldn’t have it, end up feeling love towards this tiny cell in their tummies and become moms, and the ones which tell a whole sermon about life and moral end up aborting it. You never know until it happens to you.

Some of my friends blame their mothers for the life they have and the way they were raised… they say, “why the hell did she fuck so young if she wasn’t gonna be able to raise a kid right!!” Yea they are right… i can understand how they feel and how the inexperience of a teenage mother affect their worlds completely… a mother who had boyfriend after boyfriend and teenager dreams, a mother who wanted to go crazy but didn’t go to party cause she had to take care of this baby, i bet this was so annoying that they transmitted all this feeling to them… their stress to get money for the baby and not spending enough time with him. The frustration they felt when they didn’t do normal teen stuff and had to remain at home with a baby that seemed to bother them… yeah my friends remember how bad it felt. The disappointing shame they feel their mother is still a grown teenager just because she didn’t have a full adolescence and the crazy way she dresses up, behaves and change of boyfriends, the shame they feel when their friends notice it and the pain they feel their moms are not like their “normal” friends’ moms. The bad relationship they have no matter how hard they try to improve it, she claims she made a sacrifice to bring them to life and they claim back they she shouldn’t have had a baby she wasn’t ready to raise yet.

I can’t really tell who is completely right, I just beg God it doesn’t happen to me. The decision this teenage mother make does not only have effects in their lives, but also in their children’s! Should we convince pregnant teenagers to abort to make happier future families and societies, or should we encourage them to have it for them to feel good, and forget about the environment this baby is going to be raised in? WHAT should be done? Who the hell is right?

What do YOU think could be a solution for this? You can help me to make up my mind!!!

Hugs
Deb

Ralph wrote:
I’ve been thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend, i like her and all it’s
just we’re way too busy for each other and i feel that we don’t have a lot in
common. i’m not sure what to do because i don’t want to hurt her. i guess i
don’t know what i want. any advice?

If you are not sure things can change for good between the two of you, don`t go on with the relationship, dear. The longer you stay wondering, the more it will hurt you when it`s all over, cause if things keep like that, it will be over sooner or later. Unless you talk to her very sincerely about your situation.. no time together and no fun stuff makes a relationship wither with time. All the best for you!!

It’s 10:30 am. She wakes up still dizzy and goes to the fridge to eat whatever she finds in it. Yeah 2 liters of water at once too…Last night she drunk way too much, went crazy with her girl-friends, met this group of hot guys, flirted, kissed… and she barely remembers this guy getting her naked…. that`s it.

Part of her breakfast is this kind of a routine every sunday morning.. this little tiny pill that lately has erase- and- rewind effect after these wild nights.

The morning after pill has lately become more and more popular among thousands of American- and now Latina American girls too.. It`s so easy to get, no more than being 18 is required. No prescriptions. And if you are below 18, you can ask a friend or cousin to buy it for you. You don’t even need to have a boyfriend to take it. It´s getting way too common and natural to take it as a salvation among new generation of teens, at the point that they don`t even think about long-term effects. They don`t take into consideration it`s an *Emergency* pill, they keep on taking it over and over again.

Do you think the intake of the Morning after pill can be controlled? If so, HOW?

All kinds of suggestions are welcome!

Hugs
Debby

Ok, these few lines are dedicated to all you silly guys who don’t know what to do, what to say, how to behave, etc, in the first date with the girl you like! Yes, the prettiest of them all! The one that has all you want!! Carlo, you inspired me…

First of all : BE A GENTLEMAN!! We care about little details like.. Open the door of the car, move the chair for us to sit, etc. It is VERY important!!

Second: When you take her there, mall, park, whatever, NEVER, absolutely NEVER guys, ask: What do you want to do? Always offer some options: Wanna watch a movie, have an ice-cream? Or maybe the ice-cream after the movie? Oh yeah- smile a lot.

Third: Never put a face of Pain when you see the bill. Keep on smiling…

Fouth: This might be the most important part of the date: We LOVE fancy jewelery or that stuff to hang on our ears, neck and wrists… (doesn’t need to be real of course). Take her there. Ask her to try on something you like. Ask her if she likes it… (If not, ask her to choose one) and… there you go: “This is for you”. I warranty you guys, this never fails. Even if the date was boring so far, this will be the most fun part. And also, this is a great way the girl remembers you everyday by looking at it!

This will work, believe in me!! When you take her home pay a special attention on the way she says Thanks… You have to get the sweetest Thanks! And now, if you did not succed at all…

Fifth: It`s ok, you can give up on her, or you can try harder!! If the chance is high she doesn’t like you in that way and wants to be friends only, then keep on being friends, maybe she will appreciate that more than your other intentions.. And also, she doesn`t get hurt by thinking you were nice only to flirt!!!

Cat writes:

Hello Debby! I like the new site. It’s my first time to write, but I’m wanting to know what is the best thing to do about my boyfriend who is starting to pressure me for sex. I REALLY like him a lot, and don’t want to lose him, but I’ve never had sex before, and it’s kind of scary to think about getting pregnant or diseases or anything. Maybe you have some good advice?

Cat

Hey Cat,
thanks for your message! Well.. if he is pressing you that much, it´d be a terrible experience to do it just to please him! you have to be 100% sure. If he loves you and respects you, you both may go together somewhere where you can get information about birth control and diseases: If he doesnt want to, and u still dont feel ready, forget it, there are plenty of guys left in the world… and it´s a very good thing you care about your sexual life… congratz and Good luck!!

Deb

Jeff writes:

hello debby! i like you’re site. maybe you can help me out too. my girlfriend will be turning 21 in two weeks and i want to surprise her with a little gift (so i dont want to ASK her!) we have only known each other for about 2 weeks so i dont have a lot to go on. i am asking some of my friends, and thought i would ask you too.

do you have any ideas for a little something i could surpise her with? i am just a poor student, so keep that in mind.

thanks, jeff

Hello Jeff!
I have to let you know this: money is not that important if you want to make a cute present! Girls love details… Do you have any abilities? Why not making a card or love letter yourself? Take her somewhere you can see the stars… you have to be creative!!
Good luck!!

Mary writes:

Dear Deb,

I went on a holiday and met this guy, and had an amazing time together, but he never called me back.

What should I do?

Dear Mary..
Maybe he used you! The thing here is: you had a wonderful time already, and i`m sure you`ll meet plenty of more guys.. you don`t need this one anymore! He´s an idiot and he doesn´t know the great chance he´s missing- anyway that`s not your problem anymore! Take care gurl.

Is it possible for a woman to be in a relationship and not be emotionally involved? I have dated girls who when I say I’m not looking for anything serious (a cowardly way of saying I would not like them to be my girlfriend), have said they would still like to maintain the physical aspect of the relationship.

Can I believe they are not becoming attached and thus pained by my lack of committment?

Hey DTR
They can be very open minded, but this may mean that They are the ones who don´t want to get in a serious relationship! I know many Girls who do this thing… just to keep on having phisical affection in long periods of lack of relationships… BUT, some of them Might keep on dating you because they might think it´d be a way to make you like them more and be more interested in them (i have met a couple of cases, but i still think it is a very bad idea.. not proper of an intelligent girl)… The thing here is, in the first case, they are open mind (you can find plenty of them everywhere, so don´t be surprised) the second is a case of very low self-esteem. Be aware!

Hey guys! I’ve been asked by many boys why women are unfaithful… see I’m not the type to cheat on a guy, that is why I think I am not the right person to write about unfaithful women; but I have several friends who do that over and over again… and they enjoy it… and never feel guilty… Wanna know why?

Unfaithful women… a new generation?
written by a naturally unfaithful woman:

Why are we women unfaithful? Maybe we are highly motivated by the desire to win over the stronger sex… men… we want to show success and strength in the art of conquering more than the man we already have… and I say this because many of us, unfaithful women, have a BF, fiance or even a husband… But these willing of adventure make us look for affairs, and this used to be a taboo for us in past.

Now we have the chance in our hands to play and give to others our bodies and minds, our passion is the tool that goes with us every time every moment and makes us admired and even necessary.It all begins like a emotional game… a favorite friend that turns to be our best friend later… if anything goes wrong with our BF or husband… we will take revenge in his arms.

Lack of love or attention may justify our attitude if we are caught. But inside of us there will always be a burning flame of unsatisfaction… we will always yearn for the romantic passionate love, full of adventure and danger.. when we find a calm and stable love, we get bored and try to look for new experiences in another man, the one who we are going to replace over and over again to feel satisfied… I am positive in my thinking that unfaithful women belong to a new generation…

– the unfaithful woman